• Spirit

    Single, in a relationship, it is complicated…

    There is a tv show called Married at first sight. It is a reality show where there are a bunch of “experts” who put two people together based on some tests they have made. The couple who are matched is supposed to get married right away when they first meet in a church wearing their wedding attire. Scary first date huh?

    After they get married the get to go on a honeymoon and when they return to their homes we get to follow the couples trying to adjust to each other’s new lives. Almost every relationship in that show end with the couple wanting to get divorced.

    This is just a tv show but even the so-called experts don’t know what advice they should be giving to people who are looking for love. Why is that?

    My mother married my father after knowing him for a couple of weeks. In those days the customs were that if a guy saw a girl he liked, (by like I mean that he saw a girl he thought was cute and wanted to get to know her after asking around about her family and background) he could go to her parents and ask for her hand in marriage. She would think about it, maybe talk to him under the supervision of her family and then decide whether she wanted to marry the guy or not.

    My parents are truly an old couple, they bicker a lot and they love to hate each other but at the end of the day, they wouldn’t leave each other for anyone else. They did things a little differently, they got married first, had four children, worked hard to create a home and in the meantime, they grew to love each other through the years. It worked for them because they made it work and because giving up was not an option.

    Nowadays I feel like the dating-scenes has become somewhat similar to the process of making a business deal. Everyone is trying to win something out of it; either it is money or security. Jackpot would be if your future husband was rich, gorgeous and nice but often people settle if he is just cute.

    It is a jungle out there, meeting somebody new can feel exciting and scary at the same time. When you start to feel attracted to someone it is fun and sexy, you walk around with a goofy smile for a week fantasizing about meeting them. It can go either way, sometimes it is simple, fast and easy and sometimes things don’t work out the way you want them to.

    Finding a romantic partner is something most people dream about and being single can sometimes feel painful and can cause low self-esteem and a lot of emotional sorrow for some people. This stress around being in a relationship can cause people to settle for someone who isn’t right for them. Being single and having only yourself to look out after can be amazing if you are willing to let go of the pressure around your relationship status.

    Depending on what you want out of the relationship you should be able to know if a person is right for you or not. Sometimes I am not sure that the idea of living with one person for the rest of our life is good or how it is supposed to be. We always hear these stories of people cheating, leaving their partner or destroying their relationships in one way or the other. The reality is that there are so many people out there who are in relationships they shouldn’t be in. People change and develop through time and that might be one reason why most relationships fail. I am not sure if I ever will get married but I do know I won’t settle for anyone until I feel clarity in heart, mind, and soul all at the same time.

    I would love to hear what your thoughts are about marriage and being single. What is the number one relationship advice you would give to a couple who are getting married? Leave a comment in the section below.