Now I know…

I always have a hard time with initiating new changes. I often feel stuck and can easily get paralyzed from the idea of what is expected from me. I have had this problem for as long as I can remember and now I know it comes from the fear of being truly happy.

As a sensitive kid I had trouble adapting socially and as I grew up it was a reoccurring pattern in my life where I always ran away from relationships before they even started. I ended everything to prevent myself from feeling bad, scared that I would get hurt I shut down and cut people off and it soon became a habit.

Going through these memories and reflecting over my life and all my decisions didn’t change the past. However, it makes me aware of the problem and gives me the opportunity to start over. My way to approach life and what I choose to believe in now is that I only have control of the present moment. Even when I am planning the future I can never be truly sure of the outcome, therefore, I am committed to seeing the joy in every moment of my life in the good and the bad even when I am afraid because deep down I know that I can be happy, loved and free at the same time. I just need to learn how to balance it all at the same time.

If you are looking for a book to change your thinking I would suggest you pick up a book called A return to love written by Marianne Williamson.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” ~ Marianne Williamson

The quote above is from the book and I think it speaks for itself. What are your thoughts and experiences? Let me know in the comments below.



I practice yoga. I eat organic food. I write.


  • Nancy

    I was really struck by your comment of being “happy, loved, and free at the same time.”  It’s made me consider whether balancing all three at once happens very often.  The first two seem perfectly compatible.  Although, they don’t always peacefully co-exist.  It’s the sense of freedom that seems problematic to me.  There are so many pulls on us while going through our days, that feeling truly free appears elusive.  Of course, a working definition of free must exist before any meaningful understanding or realization can occur.  You’ve given me not just food for thought, but an entire banquet!

    • Pet

      Hi Nancy! 

      I loved hearing your thoughts about my thoughts. Yes it is tricky to feel all the emotions at the same time but I believe it is possible to be totally free from inner and outer judgement. It takes time to get there and sometimes it doesn’t last so long when we come back to the real world. However it is tempting to think what would happen if you could stay in that blissful state of mind, right?



  • swangirl

    I like your honesty. We are so inundated with bright colors, flashing lights, booming music and advertisements, contests, rushed limited time offers, countdown clocks and people trying to sell us on scams, dreams and dead ends. This is the opposite. This is like a calm, peaceful conversation or a daydream. You are not telling somewhat that you have a cheap item for sale that will change their life even if it is junk. You are offering a simple gift of thought. Introspection is important and you seem to have found it.

    • Pet

      Hi Swangirl!

      Thanks for your kind words! My wish is that everyone can find the inner peace within themselves so that they can do what they are supposed to do in this world. 

      Sending you some love all the way from Sweden.


  • Garen

    Change is hard for everyone.  Anything that is different makes us how to deal with all different kinds of emotions.  When something is different it puts an extra hurdle in our daily routine.  This could be anything from a  new job, relationship, moving house, etc.

    I haven’t read that book, yet.  However, I am planning on it shortly.  What is the best advice you can give to someone that is going through change and not coping very well with it, though? 

    • Pet

      Hey Garen!

      Yes! Change is hard. We crave it sometimes but forget how to adjust to it. My best advice would be to give yourself time to grow. Change takes time so let yourself off the hook. Always try to remember why you wanted a change in the first place. Hold on to that thought. 

      The book is amazing, I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.



  • Strahinja

    Hi Pet,

    I had some anxiety and in one period when I was a kid, I felt that I wasmissing something. Somehow I always thought about past, I couldn’t let somethings go and also I thought a lot what will happen in the future, what shouldI do. So I started working on myself, to improve my mind, spirit, thoughtsaround 16. Till now, I read a lot of books (philosophy, psychology, spiritualetc) which helped me go through and opened my eyes. It is really important tobe present in this moment, this is the time we really have to enjoy and to useit – present. Of course, one always has to engage himself in spiritual field togrow and to keep positive ’flow’. It is also a practice and a belief – ifhe/she believes that it can be done. That there is always a way and solution toany problem or situation. I like this quote you put very much.

    It is so true – people just won’t admit their strength. It is just unbelievablewhat fear can do, block someone who really has potential but won’t see it. Ithink we all have some special talents and possibilities, we just need to beopened and see them. Also, to be willing to dedicate our time in this journey.

    Best wishes,


    • Pet

      Thank you for sharing your story!

      I believe just as you said that we all have special talents and the real purpose of all these hard times we go through is to be able to unlock all the possibilities that are out there for us when we live fearlessly. 

      Sending you love!


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